Four Days… and I Was Already a Disappointment

One of the interesting things about modern dating is how quickly people can decide they know everything about you.

Four days. Four days of casual conversation while I was juggling life — Apparently that was long enough for someone to determine my entire emotional availability, communication style, and moral character.

I’d learned something important though: when someone shows you their expectations that quickly… believe them. Because sometimes the rudest behavior isn’t yelling, name-calling, or slamming doors. Sometimes it’s deciding you owe them something you never agreed to give.

I had matched with a man online. The conversation actually started out pretty normal. He told me he owned a mobile auto repair business, was building a cabin, and had a YouTube channel. He also made sure to inform me that he was, a great communicator, and very loyal. All very impressive credentials… especially considering we had known each other for approximately seven minutes. Still, I kept an open mind.

For the next few days we exchanged messages like most people do when they’re just starting to get to know someone. A little chatting here, a little catching up there.

Meanwhile, real life was happening. I was busy. Work, Family… you know, Busy single mom stuff. Apparently, however, I had unknowingly signed up for a four-day relationship performance review. Because one morning I woke up to a message informing me that my behavior had been evaluated. And unfortunately… I had failed.

According to this guy, my failure to provide constant text updates about my daily activities meant that I was not ready for a man like him. He also let me know that my “busy life” was not an excuse for bad behavior, that he values consistent texting and phone calls, and that despite his emotional availability… he now felt nothing here.

Four days. It took four days for this man to go from “nice to meet you” to dramatic breakup speech.

Now to be fair, he did take some responsibility. He said the fault might be his for “coming on too strong.” But don’t worry — he quickly clarified that I was still the one demonstrating bad behavior. The message ended with a formal goodbye. Goodbye Amy…

After four days.

Naturally, I responded in the most appropriate and mature way possible. I gave the message a thumbs-up. Then I showed it to my mom and daughter and laughed until we cried. Because sometimes the only thing you can do when someone tries to hand you unnecessary drama… is politely decline the package.

Dating is strange these days. But moments like this are actually helpful. They reveal something important very quickly. Some people believe getting to know someone means ownership of their time. Others understand that getting to know someone means patience, curiosity, and respect. And if someone decides after four days that you’re not meeting their expectations?

Well… That’s not a breakup. That’s a very efficient screening process.

And…

Dude… Don’t Be Rude!